Dear Kindle Direct Publishing,
I am writing to express my profound and utterly underwhelmed appreciation for your tireless efforts in supporting independent authors such as myself. The myriad of pages you provide, filled with hundreds of thousands of words that offer guidance, is nothing short of overwhelming—though not in the inspiring way you might intend. Truly, the sheer volume of information has been an invaluable companion on my journey of publishing with KDP, allowing me to explore the depths of marketing strategies I could never possibly afford or implement.
It’s heartening to know that KDP is part of Amazon’s vast empire, with its exclusive reader club of hundreds of millions of members. This exclusivity is certainly reflected in the results, as my novels continue to reach exactly zero of these privileged readers month after month. I’m sure the fault lies entirely with me—perhaps I need to give away more content, create more novels, and invest even greater sums into advertising campaigns that, miraculously, drive traffic toward the already wealthy and successful authors. After all, there’s nothing quite as motivating as a system that rewards the wealthy for being wealthy.
I am deeply grateful for the ease and comprehensiveness of your services. Readers finding my novels has never been simpler—assuming, of course, that those readers are clairvoyant. Your efforts to connect novelists with their audience have been so effective that I’ve found myself marveling at the number of hours I spend maintaining an email list, producing book trailers, crafting social media content, and investing in professional-grade advertising. It’s a good thing I don’t expect you to share or promote any of this with potential readers; that would be far too much to ask from a service dedicated to helping authors reach their audience.
Your marketing guidance has been nothing short of illuminating. Spending hundreds or even thousands of dollars on Amazon ads has taught me so much—primarily about how resilient I can be in the face of zero returns. The algorithms that prioritize bestsellers and wealthy authors are, I must say, a remarkable innovation. Who knew that the secret to success was simply to keep producing more novels, giving them away for free, and burning through my budget faster than I can craft another meticulously researched story? It’s a beautiful cycle, really, and one that I’m sure benefits someone—though clearly not me.
Cancel culture, too, deserves a special mention. Your commitment to fostering an environment where independent voices can thrive is as subtle as it is encouraging. The way you’ve managed to create a space where success feels both impossible and entirely up to the individual is nothing short of inspiring. It has truly motivated me to continue refining my craft, hoping against hope that one day, it will happen for me.
Speaking of which, if there is one tiny improvement I might humbly suggest, it would be this: could you please define what “it will happen for me” actually means? Does it involve selling a single book? Breaking even on ad spend? Achieving recognition in some secret algorithmic way that only the elite authors know about? A little clarity here would go a long way in setting expectations and keeping those of us at the bottom rung of the ladder sufficiently delusional to continue.
In closing, thank you for all that you do to support authors like me. Your tireless efforts have taught me resilience, creativity, and the fine art of sarcasm—though I’m sure that last one was unintentional. Here’s to another year of giving away my work, spending more than I earn, and continuing to believe in the dream that KDP so graciously dangles just out of reach.
Yours in unending gratitude,
Mark Bertrand
Mark Bertrand (Novelist) (@markbertrand.bsky.social) — Bluesky
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